A TRM guest is on a mission.  We dare not refer to him as an inmate as he qualifies for BOF status (Boring Old Fart)?  This is what happens when they live in the South Island too long – he is determined to introduce his new standards to the Tongariro – not really ‘new’ but what they expected some fifty or more years ago:

New Code of Behaviour and Dress to TRM stalwarts

– or warts, as the case may be.

Now pay attention you lot – yes, I have my eye on you at the back.

Dress

Firstly, it will be de rigueur for all TRM BOF’s to dress appropriately – Tweed jackets, Hardy vests, ties, and thigh waders. We decry these modern chest waders, which mean you cannot see the tie properly, and identify if Brigade of Guards, Eton, Oxford, or (God help us) Cambridge. Well, you can’t say we’re not tolerant at TRM. Such as:

Ideally of course your tie will be House of Hardy, The International Club.

Hair is optional.

So when we have arrived at TRM, the rod racks should look like……

Will have to speak again to the proprietor about getting more rod racks – the 11 and 12 footers are squeezed. We will still have a few items up our sleeve so that we can show those graphite-wielding chumps what a REAL graphite rod is:

Equipment

Now, rods. It has come to our attention that some of you are using GRAHITE – graphite, forsooth. Split bamboo is the answer gentleman – and please note that it is NOT split cane – Hardy’s have always referred to their rods as split bamboo, and so shall we. Reels – Hardys of course, Perfects, or Bougle:

And before you comment, the other reel, modern, is a Hardy’s as well – Angel TE of course.

Transport

For heaven’s sake chaps, we really can’t be seen in these Oriental monstrosities. As gentlemen, and dry fly fishermen to boot, we will arrive at the river in our customary manner, showing the class and style that has made us a by-word for elegance and taste. Ergo, we will appear as:

(Reminds other inmates of Hickling’s 1960 book “Fresh Water Admiral” which included his schedule of similar recommended appropriate fly fishing attire for ‘poofter’ women as well…  Such blind adherence to traditional English custom is another reason why NZ has to become a republic?  Watch this space…)