As soon as TRM sold the last copy of the sixth print run of TONGARIRO Skulduggery, originally published in 2020, new orders with questions arrived. The book is now a collector’s item. Previous blogs below might answer their questions…
The book was supposed to raise funds for improvements to the Tongariro River Trail, such as tourist information panels providing the histories of the pool names, but DOC refused permission.
TONGARIRO Skulduggery – Beyond coincidence?
Q & A re: “Tongariro Skulduggery”
Three years ago TRM published what was described as a “Mockumentary”. The plot ruffled a lot of feathers and many requested clarification. Every week we hear the same questions… How much of the story is true? Where is the skull now? Is the skull real? Where did the idea of finding the skull come from? Is Sonny Jim a real person? etc…
So we will try to answer some of the most persistent questions…
I am not an author. The original idea for the plot emerged in 2019 on a bike-packing holiday with my son – a father/son bonding trip, biking around the East Cape coastal road from Opotiki to Gisborne and back on the Motu/Pakihi Trail. Each day after we had reached our destination, we pitched our little pup tent to recover and talked about all sorts of stuff. Prior to our ride, I had no intention of writing anything. It is obvious he must have inspired me, so it is only fair he should take full responsibility for all complaints about the devious plot. There was no phone reception in remote locations, and after we had thrashed through every subject that fathers try to bore their sons with to fill the time, he helped with an outline draft of the curious plot that had just gradually emerged on my iPhone. By the time we returned ten days later, we were up to chapter five or six, and the rest of the story flowed from there.
Despite some local folk actually believing it, the discovery of the skull up the Tongariro River was pure make-believe BS, of course. The original idea of discovering the pre-Maori skeleton could have been hatched from the biography of Trevor Hosking, an out-of-print publication describing his life and, in particular, his excavations as the Government-appointed archaeologist for the Tongariro Hydro scheme. Under the Tokaanu Power Station tailrace, he discovered ancient buried villages and moved the remains from over 70 graves onto the hill behind Tokaanu.
The surprise was when the artefacts were carbon-dated at around 400 AD – about 800 years before the Maori arrived. These original moa hunters had light skin and red hair, which was also confirmed in other books, such as Kakahi by Peter McIntyre. Even the local Tuwharetoa chief confirmed their presence in historic records.
They prove conclusively that Maori were not indigenous, just in case you were wondering…
Soon after I started assembling the plot, someone sent me the publication above – further confirmation. We still do not know who sent it or how they even found out we were trying to compose a story around it. So this is another belated “Thank you” to whoever was responsible.
It is strange how official Government records continue to deny that these original ancestors existed. Many have suggested they do not understand why the revised history for schools is only from 1840 onward. As such, it was inevitable that someone had to write about it. As my knowledge of history is sketchy at best, it was included in the fictitious plot.
The hope was to use profits (if any) towards conservation projects on the Tongariro River. For about 10 years, TRM has been trying to promote extensions to the bike trail north and south of the Tongariro River Trail. So far, the council has not cooperated with our “vision”. We tried to introduce tourist information panels along the walking/biking trail to explain some of the history of the fishing pools, etc., but again DOC (who manage the Taupo Fishery and the Tongariro River trails) refused to help. They will blame me, of course. But at last we have found a little project to direct some of the huge $ profits.
A little progress has started. A local resident arranged for a park seat to be installed along the river walk in a sunny position with wonderful river views, where a rest stop has long been overdue. We cannot say where, of course, or the Toe-Paw Council will be on their way to confiscate it – they will just have to eventually discover it for themselves and then decide what to do.
Above is a photo of Sonny Jim helping carry his frail father on another bike trip. I am confident he will deny everything.
To try to clear up the rumours and confusion, we feel obliged to respond to some of the other persistent questions – Q & A below:
Was there a skull at all? No.
Was the side story about the van Dyck self portrait true? Yes.(see photo below)
Was there a “Turangi Treaty”? No.
Did someone really try to burn down TRM’s fence? Yes.
Was Sonny Jim’s car crashed and pushed into Lake Taupo? No.
Did we really receive death threats for posting a Fish & Game public release on the dangers of trout farming? Yes.
Is TRM going to be converted into a retirement village? No. (but watch this space…)
Did the two motel dogs, Boof & Pumpkin, really die by mysterious means? Yes.
Did Sonny Jim move in with the Asian broker Lucy? No.
Is there a TRM Ladies Committee? Yes. A committee of one. She is called SWMBO.
Will there be a sequel? No. But there may be a “prequel”! (More on that to follow)
Is the Tongariro trout fishing as great as claimed? Yes.
Will the next Government cancel the Waitangi Tribunal? Who knows…
Confused? So are we.
Finally, for proof that DNA can be traced over many generations, the following was the inspiration behind the plot – from 8 February 2021…
Beyond coincidence?
Ever since “Tongariro Skulduggery” was published, so many TRM inmates and other readers have doubted, questioned, or even scoffed at the plot, built on the extreme unlikelihood of discovering two identical DNA matches after over 800 years.
Usually, fishos and authors do not reveal the source of our information, but this fantastic story has been questioned so many times that SWMBO (She Who Must Be Obeyed), the History Teacher at TRM, advises that more explanation is needed. This revealing post confirms and explains how a similar match has really happened elsewhere after 9,000 years! Such is the miracle of DNA. For doubters, this blog could be interpreted as a confession of where such an extremely unlikely plot might have come from.
At some time on our big OE in 1972-73 we visited the Cheddar Gorge caves near Bristol in Somerset, UK. – where buried amongst numerous skeletal remains in 1903 they discovered a Mesolithic human male fossil, a complete skeleton discovered at Gough’s Cave in Cheddar Gorge, near the village of Cheddar. He is famous for being the oldest complete skeleton ever found in the UK. Radiocarbon dating indicated he died around 7150BC.
At that time, the British Isles were still linked to Europe by marshes, and animals such as wild horses, antelope, and bears lived there, as confirmed by skeletal remains. This is mentioned for all the healthy sceptics out there who question “global warming” – it had started back then.
The archaeologists’ analysis decided he was about 23 when he died from a violent blow to the head, so he may have been murdered. Interestingly, they deduced from the pattern of bone cuts, which matched those on nearby animal bones, that these early ancestors were cannibals. This is also why the “Cheddar Man’ discovery was so valuable, as most other skeletons from the post-ice-age period had been chopped up to suck the marrow.
Then fast forward to the present. DNA’s (deoxyribonucleic acid) double helix had been discovered in the 1950’s. Now, everyone is aware of DNA being used to solve murders, sheep are cloned, and crops are genetically modified. People can now predict personal chances of living a long life or suffering from obesity, demystifying what were matters of providence, fate, or even morality.
In 1997, the Oxford University Institute of Molecular Medicine finally extracted mitochondrial material from the teeth of a molar from the Cheddar Man. Then, after taking swabs from local people, they announced they found a complete match, a blood relation after 9000 years. Perhaps just as remarkable, Adrian Targett was a local history teacher who lived less than a mile from the caves. So suck on that… Tongariro Skulduggery’s DNA plot over 800 years was relatively recent.