No wonder the daily newspapers circulation is falling. Of course iphones are blamed at fault as traditional dailies cannot compete with the instant news available online or more interesting blogs like this one… But they also have to look hard and question some of the drivel served up as news. The last week was all about how to stack a dishwasher?

SWMBO (She Who Must Be Obeyed) is the Manager at TRM. She has been in that role for 19 years now. To encourage Her to move here to Turangi took some effort on my part. All I wanted to do was retire early so I could go trout fishing whenever I liked on a famous river full of wild trout that was open all year round. Seems reasonable, except She needed some huge irresistible incentives to encourage Her to retire (?) away from Takapuna Beach.

So part of the contract was that She would receive a cooked breakfast in bed every morning and have all the dishes washed and dried by the time She arose. This is true – for 19 years, every morning! She is so good at the art of delegation. Seems a reasonable sacrifice on my part. It stuffs up early morning fishing but I admit I cannot have everything my way.

Which brings up the dishwashing stacking topic in the (x Dominion) Post recently. This confirms how desperate they are for news. Instead of pages of photos of AB’s scoring tries and praise for trouncing the Springboks, we were subject to more rubbish of how to stack a dishwasher. The big health and safety question was whether cutlery should be positioned facing up or down? Apparently, it is so critical. Readers’ letters added to the importance of this issue.

It may be true that TRM has some peculiar habits like the pet fantail that does the housekeeping to keep the spiders away. The ski lift chair outside on Taupahi Road might look out of place but attracts a steady following from tourists needing a rest. But dishwasher inspections?

Anything and everything that happens at TRM has to pass Her inspection, although I never imagined She would be inspecting the dishwasher after the dishes were already cleaned and polished and stacked away in cupboards. But She is so thorough! As a result, after reading another letter to the editor with advice on the correct way to stack cutlery in the dishwasher, SWMBO decided to check to determine whether Her tired staff on the early morning shift had correctly stacked the knives and forks to Her satisfaction… She was astonished! Almost speechless. I will leave it up to you to decide if the loading system was in accordance with best motel practices, taking into account the best intentions of an almost retired elderly demented fisherman in Turangi. Tongariro trout anglers have had to learn to be so cunning.