After surviving the thrashing live early this morning, I needed to recuperate on a long walk, partly to sulk and recover, but more to mull over the new English tactics. This was England’s first win against the All Blacks at Twickenham since 2012, so this is not a whinge about England winning 33-19, or Roebuck’s last try, which came in the 77th minute, after a loose ball was kicked ahead by Henry Pollock. 

But as TRM fishing reports are read by children, we have a responsibility. We are obliged to severely question the tactics of Henry Pollock (born 14 January 2005), who plays for Northampton Saints and the England national team. At the Twickenham test, he anxiously made certain he would get noticed by the cameras, by his deliberate rude lack of respect to the haka ritual, by immature smirking, licking his lips during the Haka. We have no complaint about his lack of manners. We accept he does not understand NZ traditions. Then, when he came on late as a substitute, he continued pulling scary faces to frighten children, to expose his extensive rugby skills repertoire. OK, that is accepted. That has to be expected from a product of the English education system.

But his finest international rugby moment came after he practised his soccer skills to put the winger, Roebuck, in for the last try. Then his BIG MOMENT arrived. He could not resist the opportunity for international celebrity status.

He rushed in and enthusiastically kissed the try scorer, smothering him with a full-on high tackle in a passionate embrace that he would not stop… In England that sort of intimate behaviour has to be expected as normal, reflecting his education at two private schools (Beachborough Prep School and Stowe School). But the dangerous high tackle rules still have to apply, even when the receiver is in your own team.

Now, some may imagine TRM blogs suffer from out-of-date old-school ethical standards, but those grubby English soccer tactics have no part in rugby. Or fly fishing! The modern tackle rules are difficult enough to understand without adding deliberate sexual overtones. Why would one tackle a member of his own team? Apparently, even the NZ Police cannot interpret the ethics.

(Tom Roebuck scores England’s fourth try that confirmed their victory. Photograph: Tom Jenkins/The Guardian)

Pillock should have been immediately red-carded, banned and restricted to Wembley Stadium for life. This was worse than Wayne Barnes missing that forward pass. Referees need to control more strictly to clean up our national game. NZ Rugby need to report this unsavoury incident to the International Rugby Referees Association!

Or am I over-reacting? Perhaps I need to restrict TRM fishing reports to SWMBO and DOC and Councils? But I confess I do not understand their rules either. From now on my viewing will be restricted to the wonderful Black Ferns…